More than an Athlete | How to Build a Business through Mental Toughness

[00:00:00] Wells : As a pro athlete, I dealt with depression. I wanted to kill myself cause I didn't start no joke. Man, this is my goal. I want to start and I'm not playing and I'm living my dream in a somewhat hell, we tend to cope in unhealthy ways. So as an athlete, I'm a doer. I'm very physical, right? So when I ran into a wall, I would just double down physically. I'm going to work out more, I'm going to run more. But there comes a point where you're just running yourself into the ground.

[00:00:26]

[00:00:57] Angela: point where you're just running yourself into the ground.

[00:00:57] hey everyone. I'm here with Wells Thompson. He is one of the Founders of Soccer Resilience an incredible organization here in North Carolina, and partially in California as well, that focuses on teaching athletes mental robustness and mental resiliency that will help them perform better as athletes on and off the field.

[00:01:15] Wells, thank you so much for joining me today.

[00:01:16] - Yeah,

[00:01:17] Wells : dealt with depression, I dealt with... I wanted to kill myself 'cause I didn't start, no joke, like, man, this is my goal, I want to start and I'm not playing and I'm living my dream in a somewhat hell. We tend to cope in unhealthy ways. So as an athlete, I'm a doer, I'm very physical, right? So when I ran into a wall, I would just double down physically. I'm going to work out more, I'm going to run more. But there comes a point where you're just running yourself into the ground.

[00:01:17] - Hey, everyone, I'm here with Wells, Thompson. He is one of the founders of Soccer Resilience, an incredible organization here in North Carolina, and partially in California as well, that focuses on teaching athletes mental robustness and mental resiliency that will help them perform better as athletes, on and off the field. Wells, thank you so much for joining me

[00:01:17] today.

[00:01:17] -Yeah, absolutely. It's a pleasure. Angela, thank you so much for having me.

[00:01:19] lot

[00:01:20] Angela: Absolutely. it's Angela. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:01:21] - Absolutely. So there's I'm sure a lot to be discussed today, so we're just going to jump right in. going to start with kind of your personal transition from not just being a soccer player and an athlete,

[00:01:30] but now transitioning to being a leader of an organization who is working hand-in-hand with multiple partners to bring this ethos of resiliency and mental toughness.

[00:01:38] Wells : compassionate to

[00:01:39] Angela: In a way that's empathetic and compassionate to soccer players across the country and across the world. So can you talk a little bit, speak a little bit about your journey to making that transition

[00:01:48] Wells : Yeah, for sure.

[00:01:49] Angela: been

[00:01:49] Wells : the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life and still continue to go through is the fact that I'm not an athlete.

[00:01:54] anymore. And a huge part of that is the purpose behind soccer resilience.

[00:01:58] Angela: Soccer

[00:01:59] Wells : Our very first core value at soccer resilience more than fill in the blank, more than an athlete.

[00:02:04] Most of the time we say that because most people know what that means. Really the first thing we want to do is separate person from the player. Because not only is that healthy in the long run, but we also believe that it'll enhance your performance on the field as well, or in whatever you're trying to do.

[00:02:19] It's extremely personal to me because for 32 years of my life, I only saw myself as a soccer player and it makes sense, right? Society sees you that way when you're good at something, like I was at a Bible study last night and.

[00:02:30] Angela: sees you

[00:02:31] Wells : A friend was introducing me to someone, and of course they always go, he's a pro, he was a pro athlete, like he was drafted here yada, yada.

[00:02:37] And I said, but I'm more than an athlete, right? I'm a little bit slow learner. So for 32 years of my life, I only saw myself that way. I didn't care about school, right? goal for me was to take soccer as far as I could because I loved it. And I just really didn't have the foresight to understand that hope God willing.

[00:02:55] I'm going to be a human being for a lot more years, and I'm going to be a human being that is not playing soccer for a lot more years than a human being who's playing soccer. So 32 years of my I was an athlete, I was a soccer player, and then one day I wasn't, and I really had no idea who the heck I was after that.

[00:03:11] I was like, God, I'm never going to be involved with soccer again. I don't want anything to do with it. I literally ran away from the game and I told God that. And takeaway is never tell God. Never. , because I'm back into soccer. But I really just needed to get away from the game to figure out who I was as a person.

[00:03:27] Something I'm still continually trying to do, which is why I say it's still a difficult thing for me to do, is Separate myself from who I.

[00:03:35] was. So

[00:03:36] Angela: needed to

[00:03:37] Wells : yeah, I forget the question. the transition like? It was, hell, it sucked. I think that, comparing it to it's not a fair comparison to compare it to people that serve in our military.

[00:03:48] What we go through is nowhere near what they go through. But I think the analogy serves to prove a point that it's extremely difficult. The way that sports is viewed, especially pro athletes are viewed in the world today, makes it very difficult on pros to find their identity outside of the game.

[00:04:05] And it's really cool to see people like LeBron James and female athletes taking advantage of their platform and understanding that they have the ability to use their platform not only just for soccer, but to set themselves up for life after.

[00:04:18] Angela: Separating that

[00:04:19] Wells : more than, right? More than an athlete, more than a coach, more than a parent.

[00:04:22] We aren't our performance at the end of the day. I'm thankful that I got really great people in my life that have helped me through this transition. Got great family, got a great wife, and just remind me

[00:04:32] Angela: life

[00:04:32] Wells : they didn't like me 'cause I played soccer.

[00:04:35] they liked me 'cause of who I was.

[00:04:37] Angela: like me 'cause I

[00:04:38] Wells : yeah,

[00:04:39] and my heart. I think it'll be an ongoing process. Lindsey Vonn says it best in my opinion. She said it's like a death It's something that I will grieve and mourn for the rest of my life. I truly believe that. I It's oftentimes I wish I could go back and just be a pro athlete anymore, and my wife says, ,

[00:04:56] Angela: go back and

[00:04:57] Wells : it best, being a pro athlete is a false sense of reality.

[00:05:00] And I think a part of that is the world caters to you

[00:05:03] Angela: sense of

[00:05:04] Wells : as a pro athlete and the real world. It doesn't anymore, right? There's a big difference between being a pro athlete and being a retired athlete. 'Cause I'm a selfish human being, I want the world to cater to me, right?

[00:05:16] Angela: athlete. 'Cause

[00:05:17] Wells : And that's just not the way life is.

[00:05:18] So I'm really like soccer resilience for me is turning my pain into purpose. I

[00:05:23] Angela: way life is. So

[00:05:24] Wells : played nine years professionally and so it's actually a huge mindset shift for me to say I had a good career, I had a good career. I said that to my wife like six months ago and she was like, oh my God, that's the first time I've ever heard you say something positive about your career.

[00:05:37] And I was like, there's just something so wrong with me if I can't play nine years professionally. Something that many people don't even get the experience to do for a day and have a grateful. "

[00:05:46] attitude

[00:05:47] Angela: wrong

[00:05:48] Wells : it. So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to have a grateful attitude. I appreciate all I've been through and the opportunity that I had just to play a sport that I love for as long as I did.

[00:05:56] Yeah,

[00:05:56] Angela: to have a grateful attitude. I appreciate all I've been through and the opportunity that I had just to play a sport that I love for as long as I did.

[00:05:57] -Yeah.

[00:05:57] So yeah, you've already talked about the mental transformation that you've been going through, just as a person, just saying okay, this is something that I did and this is something that, was a job for me and that I did very well and I enjoyed and I loved,

[00:06:09] brought me a lot of things in life that I really wanted.

[00:06:11] but I am not less of me because I am no longer doing that career.

[00:06:16] Wells : I am

[00:06:17] Angela: that doesn't change who I am as a person. I still have something to offer this world besides being soccer player. And as hard as it may be for me to find that, it's worth it for me to find that and to help other people realize that they can do the same and really embody what it means to, be more than an athlete.

[00:06:33] So I think that's beautiful. I think that's Heartbreaking in a

[00:06:36] way

[00:06:37] viscerally

[00:06:37] Wells : what it means to be

[00:06:39] Angela: that life is changing and I really do need to start thinking critically about who I am, aside from what I do.

[00:06:45] Wells : viscerally that life is changing and I really do need to start thinking critically about who I am, aside from what I do.

[00:06:45] -Yeah,

[00:06:45] absolutely. And I think that, I don't think it's possible, like maybe for some people, but the reality is most transitions are difficult, right? But at the end of the day, they serve and the hard things in life are the good things a lot of times. We tend to live in this fantasy that like, Life shouldn't be hard and we shouldn't go through difficult things because life will be better that way.

[00:07:07] In reality, the rain, like we appreciate the sun so much more when we experience the rain, right? we go through valleys and when we appreciate the good times way more when we go through the difficult things. And I don't think that we would be able to them that much if we didn't go through those things.

[00:07:25] As I look back on it, I'm thankful for it. I've learned a lot the process and at the end of the day, that's what I'm trying to. keep a focus on

[00:07:33] Angela: that's what trying to keep a focus on.

[00:07:34] - Yeah. So let's go back to something that you said when you were talking about, you mentioned LeBron and certain other athletes that

[00:07:39] were doing a lot of work now very visibly to distinguish themselves as people of, a basketball player and being an athlete. I think,

[00:07:48] read this on Twitter somewhere, it's like now we're in a space where all our jobs require us to be creators or entrepreneurs, they require us to be more than just the person that shows up does the job and leaves. And I think that can be a catch-22 because the reality is we've always been more than

[00:08:05] Wells : the work

[00:08:06] Angela: always been more than people who do jobs. now I think, we're in a space where it's more accepted and even encouraged for it to be visible that. you are Trying to make a life for yourself outside of what you do.

[00:08:18] Wells : try

[00:08:18] Angela: it comes to, resilience and the work that you guys do with players and coaches and things like that, what are some of the things that you try to instill in them about the mental or the mindset that they have to have in order to really work on themselves off the field?

[00:08:34] I'll ask you this, and this is a question we ask every single person that we work with, right? There is no right or wrong answer, but if you could put a number to it, Angela, what percentage of sport and life do you think stems from the mind?

[00:08:48] -A hundred

[00:08:49] Wells : hundred

[00:08:49] percent.

[00:08:49] -A hundred percent. Okay. So

[00:08:51] Angela: A hundred percent.

[00:08:51] Wells : it's a big percentage, right? And so whatever you believe the reason why we say there is no right or wrong answer because it's subjective. It really is much you believe, but the point is, 99.5% of people we ask, say, 70% or higher, right? And then usually our follow up question is what are you doing to address your beliefs?

[00:09:10] And people aren't doing anything. And so this is for me

[00:09:14] Angela: are

[00:09:14] Wells : as a pro athlete of nine years, right? We had acupuncturists, needlers, masseuses, cuppers, ice bath specialists, dieticians, physical therapists, regular doctors, but not someone who you said accounts for a hundred percent of sport and life.

[00:09:30] Angela: of sport

[00:09:31] Wells : So I'm looking back, going, oh my gosh, how did I miss this? Right? It's not a funny story. It's funny now. When I was in Colorado in our head coach had a relationship with a sports psychologist, and so he offered everybody on the team one free session. So I went, I knew I needed help.

[00:09:49] I was struggling at the time and I went, you know, why why I didn't go back 'Cause I'm an idiot. I'm a big idiot.

[00:09:56] Why? 7,500 bucks. That's so stupid. This is my career. This is an investment. And I just didn't have the understanding, or I had wrong misconceptions about what mental training was My idea was like, hey, you go in a dark room try to think about nothing for an hour, and then you come out, maybe you turn on. some

[00:10:16] Angela: better, increases

[00:10:17] Wells : melodic music. You hum. You put your fingers like this, and that's how you train your brain, right? .

[00:10:22] Angela: athlete, right?

[00:10:23] Wells : But now there's a lot of, I'm realizing now that there are a lot of practical, tangible things that you can do, right?

[00:10:29] Like your breath,

[00:10:30] Angela: to

[00:10:31] Wells : right? I didn't know as a pro athlete that if you breathe through your nose, we were created to breathe through our nose. And when we breathe through our nose, we get 20% more nitric oxide to our brain. So nitric oxide is like the greatest thing that our brain needs, right?

[00:10:44] It Lowers our blood pressure, helps us sleep better, increases the oxygen intake to the brain. But I didn't know this as a pro athlete, right?

[00:10:51] So there's a lot of practical, I'm learning now. There's a lot of practical, tangible things that you can do to combat the constant of life, which is stress, adversity, challenge, right?

[00:11:01] Because we're all going to go. through... will never get rid of that stuff, but we can improve our resilience to it's why two people go through the same thing and one of them can't recover from it and the other one can, right? And there's a lot of things, variables that play into this.

[00:11:17] But for me, I'm looking back going, oh my gosh, I can't believe I missed this boat. Because as a pro athlete, I dealt with depression. I wanted to kill myself cause I didn't start no joke. Man, this is my goal. I want to start and I'm not playing and I'm living my dream in a somewhat hell, we tend to cope in unhealthy ways. So as an athlete, I'm a doer. I'm very physical, right? So when I ran into a wall, I would just double down physically. I'm going to work out more, I'm going to run more. But there comes a point where you're just running yourself into the ground, right? So you look for other ways to cheat.

[00:11:50] So I developed an eating disorder because I was struggling mentally, and I wasn't getting the the right nutrients for my body, right? I was looking for other ways to cut corners. And so like soccer resilience for me is don't make the same mistake I made. right? And regardless of, Nelson Mandela said it, and this is the core philosophy of our organization.

[00:12:11] He goes, I don't know, have you ever heard this quote,

[00:12:14] sport is the greatest opportunity to change the world. and he goes on. I encourage whoever's watching this, or you as well, Angela, if you've never read the full quote, he goes on to say, sport has the ability to break down barriers better than the government. just read the full quote.

[00:12:27] It's absolutely amazing. So we believe that, we believe that this not only enhances performance, but Absolutely increases your overall health and wellbeing for life, right? Because we see the stats. 5% of youth athletes are going to play in.

[00:12:42] college. So the question we ask ourselves is, what about the Sport for us is just the tool that we use to help people, right?

[00:12:52] And so when you look at, there's something to be said for timing in a business, and we were starting during covid. So Covid has essentially helped our business a little bit. And during Covid, you've seen schools and organizations, nonprofits ramp up their resilience programs.

[00:13:06] right? We're already in a 50, 60 year upswing of anxiety, depression, and suicide, and then a global pandemic. Something we've never seen in our lives comes and it just in increases that. And so we're challenging youth clubs to go. Most kids would rather learn this stuff with you, with a ball at their feet.

[00:13:24] opposed to sitting in a classroom learning from their teacher. We wish it wasn't that way. We wish all kids would love school, but it's not the reality. We just believe there's a massive opportunity for youth organizations regardless of what sport it is

[00:13:38] Angela: beings,

[00:13:38] Wells : teach kids life lessons.

[00:13:41] And so oftentimes as human beings, we want to overcomplicate things, right? We say mental or we say mindset, but really it's just teaching them life lessons. Hey, we were created this way, right for a reason because the number one goal of our brain is to keep us.

[00:13:55] alive, Which produces in us a lot of things that sometimes aren't good, but keeps us alive.

[00:14:02] And so we learn about those things and we learn practical ways to combat them. And yeah. So it's been a, fun challenging. It's very hard to run a business. I'll tell you that. Talk about transition, my wife is the boss. She and her twin sister. you should interview them, but they own a marketing agency in Raleigh called Angel Oak Creative.

[00:14:23] And they market just for nonprofits. And so I've seen them build, this company just celebrated 10 years, which is an incredible feat by the way. But before I started soccer, Resilience, so the previous eight years, I watched them being like, why are they complaining? Just do it this way. Oh my gosh, this is so easy, right?

[00:14:41] And then I started a business. and I'm like, this is, there's no roadmap. It's the wild west. It's not like a 10-point plan you can follow to create.

[00:14:48] Angela: not like

[00:14:49] Wells : been a challenge but one I've thoroughly enjoyed.

[00:14:52] Yeah.

[00:14:57] yeah, I like how you put that out there. There's no 10-point plan, so here we are. If there was, give it to me, please.

[00:14:59] Angela: If there was, give it to me, please. That's what we're trying to do here. I definitely don't have all the

[00:15:05] Wells : things

[00:15:06] Angela: But I did want to touch on two things that are happening the world and I guess in pop culture today. One of which is at this time of recording, the World Cup is

[00:15:14] happening right now,

[00:15:15] Wells : know, who people

[00:15:16] Angela: and there have been obviously a lot of conversations about, you know, who people say their teams are.

[00:15:22] and Where their loyalties lie, but also the importance of where it is currently being hosted. Right? Because the reality is people's viewpoints and people's accessibility to different cultural experience does largely depend on where you are in the world. Right. One thing that's come up is of course, like how there are a lot of African American players that aren't playing, or not African American players, African players that aren't playing on African teams.

[00:15:48] And then the fact that. Because it's not being held in somewhere like the United States or Britain, it's more accessible. People can go a lot easier. Like it's a lot easier for them to give the necessary travel documents to go and experience and root for their team, right? So there's two things at play here.

[00:16:05] And this happens outside of the World Cup, right? But now you have all these people from all these different countries and cultures on the world stage now being exposed to different points of view and sometimes.

[00:16:17] Wells : right? Especially if

[00:16:18] Angela: Detrimental points of view, like racism, like antisemitism, like all these other things that affect your ability to focus on the game as a player, right?

[00:16:28] Especially if you've never experienced them before on a level that you are going to be now. Right. So I think there's something to be said going back to Nelson Mandela's quote about how sports can bring people together in ways government can't. Nobody's asking the government for permission. To go root for their team.

[00:16:44] You know what I'm saying? You can screw me over 99 days. out of 100 of the last days I've been on this earth, but when my team is going to the freaking World Cup, I'm going to fucking support them .

[00:16:52] Wells : hang out

[00:16:53] Angela: You know what I mean?

[00:16:54] I'm going to hang out with somebody from freaking Germany. I'm going to do whatever I want to do and meet other people.

[00:16:59] And so I think there's something to be said for the fact that like in large part, being an athlete exposes you to other people and other places and other ways of life, and can also be a source of challenging your view on yourself and on the way you live and on the way you think. And is that something that you guys address when it comes to mental resilience and just like life lessons?

[00:17:23] Like how do you receive different points of feedback at different points in your athletic Yeah, for

[00:17:29] Wells : of all, FIFA is corrupt. and They're well-documented how corrupt they are. money and that much power, it's

[00:17:36] Angela: are.

[00:17:37] Wells : to say, but like it's there, right? I don't know why it's in Qatar, I couldn't tell you. I think it's ridiculous that it's there.

[00:17:41] So I think

[00:17:42] Angela: much power, it's say, but

[00:17:47] Wells : the older I get, the more to peel back the curtains and find out why people do the things they do, right? And so, you do that with me, you'll find that my faith, although

[00:17:59] Angela: ridiculous

[00:17:59] Wells : I'm a jacked-up human being, right? I'm the first to raise my hand and say, I'm screwed up.

[00:18:04] I need help. in counseling since I'm 14 years old and I'm like, we all need it. We're all jacked-up individuals, right? But my faith plays into who I am as a man, my upbringing, my parents. I love Jesus. And Bible, 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, I believe it's that verse says, to whom much is given much is expected. So all this ties into your question and also ties into the formation of soccer resilience that we're doing, especially within women's soccer. Okay? And I'm going to share some things that are extremely vulnerable and embarrassing, but it's me and it's raw and it's authentic.

[00:18:36] I'm a rich white dude in America. It doesn't matter how much money I have in my bank account, I come from a great family, right? I'm wealthy, Well, first of all.

[00:18:45] Angela: I

[00:18:46] Wells : I've been to very impoverished places. I know that I'm part of the 1%, right? Based on my wealth in the world. And I believe that wasn't given to me just for my own benefit,

[00:18:56] Angela: we

[00:18:57] Wells : right?

[00:18:57] But to the benefit of other people, right? And so I came to really know Jesus and start following him when I was a junior in college. And so when I became a pro athlete, I knew that was my platform. to share Jesus and who he was. And what he believed in and and what he stood for. And I just wanted to love other people as well.

[00:19:13] And so when I retired I

[00:19:17] Angela: in

[00:19:17] Wells : to find that different platform, right? And so, I found it in work, right? And I believe that outside of your immediate family, your work is the greatest opportunity to change the world for good, right? Because you think about it, I have three kids and I have, my wife and I spend more time at work than I do with my family.

[00:19:34] So outside of my immediate family, which hopefully I'm influencing in my house, I go to work every day and the people I meet every day, I can influence them, right? And so that's my greatest opportunity. And so I knew that when I retired, I got a sales job and I was traveling the country and I started every other week I was gone.

[00:19:52] I was going to start having kids. and I was like, man, what do I want to do in my life? What is success? Do I want to sacrifice time with my family to go do something I was doing? And I was like, ultimately, no." So I started learning about the greatest transition of wealth in the history of the world. 17 trillion changing hands from baby boomers.

[00:20:07] 50% of small businesses in the US were owned by baby boomers. And so my goal was to,

[00:20:11] Angela: rich white dude

[00:20:14] Wells : I said, babe, when you give me permission, 'cause I don't pretend here. My wife is the boss and she tells me what to do, . But I said, when you give me permission, I want to leave my job and I want to go buy businesses and I want to go run them for the glory of God.

[00:20:27] I want to hire refugees and immigrants. I want to hire chancers or ex-cons. say second chancers because I don't like to label them as excon, but like second chancers, to Give them another opportunity to work. And I really see that from my upbringing and my faith and also what soccer gave me.

[00:20:44] The greatest thing soccer ever gave me was to introduce me to people from all over the world. It took me to places all over the world. In the words of the, if not one of the greatest philosophers in the world, Matthew McConaughey. A well-worn passport is a sign of a well-lived life. And so I've seen the world.

[00:21:00] I've traveled the world and opened my eyes to the plight of people, and also the great responsibility that I feel like I have to use what God has given me to bless other people, right?

[00:21:10] Know, I know this is getting really good, but I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you. Thank you so much for watching and listening to the show. Whether you're a day one fan or day 100 fan, I'm so glad that you found Honey and Hustle and have decided to stick along for the ride. As a thank you, I wanted to give you a little gift that this show has so graciously given me the ability to continue to connect with thought leaders, industry leaders, business owners, and other entrepreneurs.

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[00:22:19] Wells : People ask me, like you and I said in the beginning of the podcast I never want to get back into soccer.

[00:22:23] I'm back in soccer. And it's really who I am as a person. me and Dr. Brad Connect and really the original founder of soccer resilience. He's a clinical psychologist in California. And he played at Wake and struggled with performance anxiety. And then we found a coach.

[00:22:39] His name's Matt Spear, another white dude. We're three white guys. This is not the company that we set out to build. I believe in diversity. I don't only believe in it something I want. I believe in It and it's something I need to create the organization and the impact that we want to create, right?

[00:22:57] There's something so beautiful about differences within people, right? I have no idea what it's like to not be white and not be a male, right? So if we want to have the greatest impact that we can, have On the world, we've gotta find people that can speak to those audience and know them. we brought in Jessica McDonald at the time was a current player for the North Carolina courage.

[00:23:19] If you never heard of her, google her. she has one of the most incredible stories of my life. has one of the most incredible stories I've ever heard in my first mom in the NWSL, working second jobs at Amazon, just so she could play professionally and provide for her.

[00:23:33] son. Absolutely unbelievable. And

[00:23:36] Angela: it,

[00:23:37] Wells : her was embarrassing. This is an embarrassing. Admission was really Angela the first time I started thinking about women's rights. Very first time right here.

[00:23:48] She is a pro player. She won a World Cup. She won two national titles at North Carolina. She won three national titles in NWSL, the highest pro league in the world, possibly.

[00:23:58] And she's working second jobs at Amazon just to make ends meet for her and.

[00:24:02] her son. Unbelievable, right? Like resilience epitomized, right? And so what we did, and this is where the messy part comes in, right? Because it is easy to have these ideals and these visions and these thoughts, but to live them out, it's not as clean as we think them up in our heads, right?

[00:24:20] So our goal is we want Jessica McDonald in our company. We want her to have within what we do. So essentially what we did was we gave her a quarter of our. company, And said, you know, yeah, literally part of this is a little bit of our naivety and inexperience of business, right? We gave her a quarter of our company and we're like we don't just want you, we need you to do what we want to do.

[00:24:43] Angela: was

[00:24:44] Wells : what we ended up finding out was it wasn't a good fit, right? And so this is where only you gotta marry.

[00:24:51] Angela: do

[00:24:52] Wells : with your heart's desire. 'cause our heart's desire was like, we need this in our company. and We wanted to be diverse.

[00:24:58] Angela: is

[00:24:59] Wells : doing a little more vetting out.

[00:25:01] And it was nothing to do with Jess, nothing to do with us. It was just was she's still playing soccer in her career. She couldn't give us the time that we needed and so she graciously gave her portion of the company back as well as another partner of ours. And so now was difficult right to go through because we saw the vision of what this could potentially do and how help us get her message out and how we could help her and that sort of thing.

[00:25:26] So really at the end of the day,

[00:25:27] Angela: the

[00:25:28] Wells : have two choices. We can say, we'll just keep it the way things are with me, Brad and, John

[00:25:33] Angela: boomers. 50%

[00:25:36] Wells : Or we can say, let's go back to the drawing board and let's. If we can find other women to help us carry on our message and do what we're doing, and that's currently what we're doing.

[00:25:46] Angela: chancers because I don't like to label them as give them another opportunity to work. And I really see that from

[00:25:49] Wells : we believe a sport is the greatest opportunity to change the world.

[00:25:51] And that's what we're trying to do. And so whatever sphere, industry niche that you find yourself in, mine just happens to be soccer. We believe there's a bigger purpose than making money, right? We believe it's about significance, not about success. And yes, we have to have money. It's the lifeblood in our business.

[00:26:11] But at the end of the day, the why of what we do is not just to make money and to fill our pockets. But it's to create a more equitable, fair

[00:26:20] Angela: brought in Jessica McDonald. She was

[00:26:21] Wells : right? And to have a more diverse organization because just 'cause we want it, but because stats show that organizations that have that produce and perform much better than those who don't.

[00:26:33] So look, again, I understand who I am. I'm a rich white dude in America and the world is for me. And I want to use that and leverage that to the freaking tee To help other people.

[00:26:44] Angela: company. We want her our company, and said, you know, Yeah.

[00:26:46] literally, naivety dive deeper into that concept of what makes a good partnership, right? Because I think, in the case that you're talking about with Jessica, it's. like, okay, She's great person, great story, great athlete, great mental ability to contribute what we need, but it's just not the right time in her life for her to do this.

[00:27:06] And that also has to be taken into consideration. And even when she retires from the game, she has a family. what does that look like for her? You know, What does that time commitment look like? What are her priorities then, right? Priorities may change. So for you moving forward, because you not only.

[00:27:20] Wells : So for you moving forward, because you not only-

[00:27:20] -And real quick,

[00:27:21] Angela: And real quick,

[00:27:21] [Angela] but you also have ambassadors that you-

[00:27:23] - And sorry to interrupt you

[00:27:23] What I want to communicate very clearly is that the blame is on me really. It was my fault that things didn't work out. I think if there was more experience within the business I would've seen the signs before that, and I also would've taken things slowly. There's something to be said about just taking your time, not rushing, and I rushed a lot of it, which may, which no doubt probably affected Jess and how things operated. So I just want to make it very clear, like I take responsibility for that. Don't want to put any of that on Jess. She's an absolutely incredible human being. Google her, she'll blow your world away.

[00:27:23] - [Angela]

[00:27:23] Wells : [Angela] But you also have ambassadors that you-

[00:27:23] -and sorry to interrupt you. what I want to communicate very clearly is that blame is on me really. it was my fault that things didn't work out. I think if there was more experience within the business I would've seen the signs before that, and I also would've taken things slowly.

[00:27:43] There's something to be said about just taking your time, not rushing, and I rushed a lot of it, which may, which no doubt probably affected Jess and how things operated. So I just want to make it very clear, like I take responsibility for that. Don't want to put any of that on Jess.

[00:27:57] She's an absolutely incredible human being. Google her, she'll blow your world.

[00:28:02] away.

[00:28:02] - Yeah, to that point, before I go back to my question, it's like that's life, that's business. I think a lot of business owners can relate. We get so excited about an idea and so excited about a vision, and we have the time, energy, capacity to pursue it. And we're ready to go all in, right now.

[00:28:17] I want it right now. But it's just that sometimes that works for people. You hear stories all the time. "I grew my business to X amount in three years," and that's great, but that's not everybody's story. That's not the majority of people's story, right? Not every partnership just pops off the first time you try it. So I think, yes, I appreciate you taking responsibility and accountability for the part that you played in that, but the reality is you can only beat yourself up so much about that because it happens. You know what

[00:28:18] Angela: now. it's just, that sometimes that works for people. You hear stories all the time. I grew my business to X amount in three years, and that's great, but that's not everybody's story. That's not the majority of people's story, right? Not every partnership.

[00:28:30] just Pops off, the first time you try it. So think yes, I appreciate you taking responsibility and accountability for the part that you played in that, but the reality is you can only beat yourself up so much about that because it happens you know what I'm saying?

[00:28:42] Yeah.

[00:28:42] - you would also have regrets if you didn't try it all

[00:28:45] Wells : partnerships

[00:28:48] Angela: process as an entrepreneur. I personally don't fault you that, you know?

[00:28:53] Wells : again,

[00:28:55] Angela: and then again, like if this hadn't fallen through and networked out, you wouldn't know how to approach things differently this second time around as you're looking to pursue adding that diversity that needed diversity to your team.

[00:29:07] Wells : through

[00:29:08] Angela: ambassadors that you have and even, young player and team and coach and like youth sports partnerships that. Soccer resilience has right now. What are some ways that you approach that in terms of like the conversation? 'Cause it wasn't like you went out and you said, you know what?

[00:29:25] I need to work with and we're only going to work that's not the definition of diversity either.

[00:29:30] Wells : differently

[00:29:32] Angela: inclusive organization that I can and reach the most people in the most authentic way that I can. So what is your.

[00:29:40] approach Now to developing partnerships for soccer Yeah,

[00:29:51] Wells : of myself.

[00:29:55] Angela: question.

[00:29:57] Wells : me when I wasn't a pro athlete anymore.

[00:29:59] I still struggle with them. And the thing about the mental side of the game, Angela, I could say, Hey, go out and the next 365 days just do suicides for 30 You'll be pretty fit at the end of the year. right? But because we're all unique in how we were created, and no two minds are the same.

[00:30:18] Oftentimes in the mental side of things, what works for some doesn't work for others. Right. Give you an example, like mantras, right? I have a little mantra's sheet on my wall right here that I repeat every morning and at night. Some people were like, that's stupid. it doesn't work for me.

[00:30:34] So really at the end of the day, what we're encouraging people to do is figure out what works for. you, And take your game and your life into your own hands, right? one of the things I did, and I'm going to get back to your partnership question, but one of the things I did was and we're constantly communicating this to our kids.

[00:30:49] Just because Wells Thompson says something, please don't believe it. Figure it out for yourself. 'Cause I've been known to be wrong once or twice in my life. You know what I mean?

[00:30:57] Angela: so

[00:31:02] Wells : people want that's like the only way it sticks. I know this for myself, right? And that's why I'm so passionate about what I do, because I know this for myself. I've been on the side where it's man, I'm struggling. I've also been on the side. I've learned some really cool tools. It's not that I don't have all the answers and I haven't got it.

[00:31:16] I still struggle every day. I see a therapist every week because life is freaking bananas, right? And it's hard. And we never know what's going to present to us.

[00:31:25] Angela: myself.

[00:31:29] Wells : is relationships. And at the end of the day, the currency of life is people, is relationships.

[00:31:37] So here's my philosophy, is you find people that are values aligned, have your values, like what you're striving to do in this world. Hopefully they're way smarter than you, and that's like a piece of advice that's thrown around all the. time. wants to be the smartest person in the room. Most people do, right? Because it makes them feel better. and it's very uncomfortable not to be the smartest person in the room, but that's what I've tried to do, is just put myself

[00:32:05] Angela: with

[00:32:08] Wells : all this ties together, but I'm going to go back to my upbringing again. when I tell my story, Angela, Like when I replay it in my head after I tell my story about what happened, how I became a pro, I think about how much it makes it sound like I did it. Like I'm the one that did all this stuff, right?

[00:32:28] I tell you, the reality of it is I did everything in my life to screw up my life and God just continued to bring me through and I'm like, holy cow, why? How did this work out this way? And then also I go back to my. family. I've got the greatest parents in the world. They've always been there for me.

[00:32:45] They'll love me for who I am. I've had some unbelievable coaches and mentors in my life that have just poured in me, right? They've said, Wells, I believe in you. I don't like what you're doing, but man, God's got great things for And just have poured into

[00:33:00] Angela: anymore. I

[00:33:11] Wells : than making a dollar right. And want to use what they're doing to love and lift up other people.

[00:33:18] Angela: them.

[00:33:22] Wells : can have.

[00:33:23] So communicating clearly, which I obviously am still working on because sometimes I don't communicate clearly and I just ramble. we were hoping with Jess, they weren't clear expectations.

[00:33:40] And I would encourage just. As someone who really didn't care. I don't think I read a full book until after college.

[00:33:46] Angela: the

[00:33:49] Wells : think that the more that you can

[00:33:52] Angela: Angela,

[00:33:55] Wells : always be learning, like always read, right?

[00:33:59] like growth mindset, right? literally. There's so much out there to learn. And so the more that you can just have that growth mindset attitude. Carol Dweck wrote a great book called Growth Mindset. It actually revolutionized Dr. Brad Miller, my business partner's whole practice. Right?

[00:34:15] It's just the fact that we can do anything we put our mind to do it with hard work and try different strategies, and so carrying that onto our practice with people, right? Continue to learn about how to be a leader and how to communicate. I tell you I've learned a whole lot is that they don't teach you how to lead, right?

[00:34:32] Think about this in the athletic world, because I was the best player in the majority of my teams growing up. That made me the captain. I was the leader, but I wasn't taught how to lead. I was just the best player, right? Which actually, when you think about it in the corporate world, the sales guy, the best sales guy becomes the sales.

[00:34:49] manager. He doesn't know how to lead people and he just knows how to sell, right? So studying leadership understanding that leader, we all have leadership and influence over other people, but there's good or bad leadership, right? And that leadership is unsexy, it's dirty, it's hard, there is no 10-point plan.

[00:35:06] So

[00:35:07] Angela: story about what

[00:35:07] Wells : I think that the greatest way to influence a relationship or a partnership is coming in with an open mind and really focusing on how you. Make that relationship successful, right? How you can serve the other person. And again, I'm a screwed up individual. I often don't practice what I preach, but I'm trying servant leadership is one of our core values at Soccer resilience.

[00:35:30] we believe serving is the best way to lead other people, right? We want to serve, we want to go out of the way. And in doing that, not only are we helping other people. but We're differentiating ourselves as a business.

[00:35:40] Angela: me the captain. I was the leader, but I wasn't taught how to lead. I was just know how to lead people and he just knows how to sell, right? So studying leadership and understanding that leader, we all have leadership and influence over other people, but there's good or bad leadership, right? And that leadership is unsexy, it's dirty, it's hard, there is no 10-point plan. So I think that the greatest way to influence a relationship or a partnership is coming in with an open mind and really focusing on how you make that relationship successful, right, how you can serve the other person. And again, I'm a screwed up individual. I often don't practice what I preach, but I'm trying to. Servant leadership is one of our core values at Soccer Resilience. We believe serving is the best way to lead other people, right? We want to serve, we want to go out of the way. And in doing that, not only are we helping other people, but we're differentiating ourselves as a business.

[00:35:41] -Yeah,

[00:35:42] I know

[00:35:42] you probably heard this analogy so many times that you don't want to hear it anymore, but I'm going to say it anyway. Have you seen Ted Lasso?"

[00:35:48] - Yes.

[00:35:49] Wells : Yeah,

[00:35:51] Angela: On Apple tv. Oh, Yeah. Yeah, So one thing I like about that show, first of all, I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did because I'm not super into soccer, but the show itself embodies a lot about what you're talking about.

[00:36:03] The man couldn't play soccer to save his life, but he was an incredible coach.

[00:36:07] Wells : you

[00:36:08] Angela: some, like the guy Jamie who.

[00:36:10] Wells : analogy

[00:36:11] Angela: the worst people, who grew a lot on this show, which was great, but he was technically their best player. He wasn't the coach because he wasn't a leader. He was selfish with the ball, he was selfish with his time.

[00:36:20] He was selfish with his actions for a lot of the show.

[00:36:22] point, being the best doesn't make you the best fit to, lead. also in life too. with Businesses when we try to make that transition to, who does something really good, someone who runs a business that does something really good, it's like, yeah, I can do this one thing really well.

[00:36:39] can play soccer really well. That doesn't mean that I need to own a soccer team, make videos really well, that doesn't mean I know how to lead a crew into making a video very well. really evaluating where our strengths and weaknesses are as people is really important too, and cultivating our leadership style and how we can best serve our team.

[00:36:55] or what is the best way I can help people is really probably the best way to start when you're thinking about leading and also just developing a mindset

[00:37:02] Wells : but

[00:37:03] Angela: community. With people in a way that helps you mentally makes you a good fit for a

[00:37:10] team.

[00:37:10] Wells : in community with people in a way that helps you mentally and makes you a good fit for a team.

[00:37:10] -What you

[00:37:10] said there is extremely important because as I said earlier, before covid, we're already in this 40, 50 year upswing of depression, anxiety, suicide, loneliness. And

[00:37:20] Angela: these

[00:37:20] Wells : then Covid hits, and then we have these things we're all addicted to. And it just like loneliness, I think is, we are the most connected we've ever been in the history of the world.

[00:37:31] And we're the most lonely people we've ever been in the history of the. , world, right? So it's sad to say, but something, and this is again, goes back to the misconceptions of mindfulness, right? It's like me, by myself breathing or humming or yodeling, whatever it is by myself inside my head, right? if someone goes what's the greatest advice that you can give to help my mental health?

[00:37:54] I go exercise, right? Because you Don't take your brain out and it up to electrodes while your body's over here. your body and your brain affect each other. It's a symbiotic relationship. So go exercise, right? Cause doing that's going to help clear the brain. And then I go get with some good people.

[00:38:12] Find your tribe. Find people that are going to love you

[00:38:14] Angela: that

[00:38:15] Wells : fill you with goodness, right? Stay off this thing for the love of God, stay off your phone touch somebody and hug them and be with them and see their face. Oh man. just can't overstate that. ,

[00:38:28] impact.

[00:38:28] Angela: that impact.

[00:38:30] -Yeah, I appreciate you saying that and I appreciate you taking the time to be here with me today. Everything you said was just so vulnerable, so raw, so real, but just so needed to hear. For entrepreneurs who are probably in the same position, and are going through the same thing and they're like, am I crazy?

[00:38:43] Am I only one who thinks like this? Am I the only one who's finding this hard? think it's necessary to hear. The raw side of making that transition to being a leader and whatever that means for you. And especially working with a team and working with other people and realizing that sometimes even when we have the best of intentions, we don't always get it right. But that's a part of the game. That's a part of growing and learning and being. So thank you for sharing that with us.

[00:39:00] - You got it. And one thing just to add to that is like we always, when we do presentations, I like to ask, "Hey, raise your hand if you want to play in college." Everybody raises their hand, right? And then I go, "Raise your hand if you want to play pro." Everybody raises their hand. And then we have these pros on these presentations, and we get to, in a presentation, I go, "Who has questions for these pros that we're bringing on?" And nobody raises their hand to ask a question. And I'm going, "Oh my god, this is ridiculous. You want to go to where these people currently are and you don't have a question for them," right? I just think that successfully clues, and if you want to go somewhere, find someone who's been there and done it and pick their brain and talk to them, ask questions. So like how that translates to being a business owner is one thing I suck at, is asking for help. But I gotta drop my pride and I gotta ask for help. So finding a mentor, right.

[00:39:00] find somebody that cares about you, that knows a thing or two, than you and has been where you want to go so that they can share what they've been through, right? Because why learn it for yourself when you can just learn from

[00:39:21] Wells : has questions for these pros that bringing on?

[00:39:23] And nobody raises their hand, to ask a question, and I'm going, oh my God, ridiculous. You want to go to where these people currently are and you don't have a question for them," right? I just think that successfully clues, and if you want to go somewhere, find someone who's been there and.

[00:39:36] done it, And pick their brain and talk to them, ask questions. So like how that translates to being a business owner is one thing I suck at is asking for help, but I gotta drop my pride and I gotta ask for help. So finding a mentor, right? Find somebody that cares about you, that, knows a thing or two, right?

[00:39:54] Is probably a little bit older than you and has been where you want to go so that they can. share What they've been through, right? Because why learn it for yourself when you can just learn from someone else who's had to go through it themselves. So I'd like to pick

[00:40:09] your brain at another time about your business thoughts, 'cause I need them all the time.

[00:40:13] yeah. Happy to do it. Happy to do it. One thing my mom always said that thought was hilarious, she'd be like, "You don't have to hit your head to see if it hurt. You can ask somebody else who's hit their head. You don't have to make the same mistakes. There's other people that made them and learn from them. You don't have to do that." And that was her way of saying get better at asking for help. 'Cause I also had that struggle. Okay, yeah, maybe I need to ask somebody, maybe I need to slow down and just think this through a little bit. more.

[00:40:40] Yeah, I'm going to steal that and

[00:40:42] use that.

[00:40:42] - We could have a whole conversation about

[00:40:42] Angela: conversation

[00:40:43] Wells : You tell your mom, I'm going to steal that and use it all the time now.

[00:40:45] I

[00:40:46] Angela: the time now.

[00:40:47] -I will. She'll be happy.

[00:40:48] she's probably listening to this , but

[00:40:50] Wells : to

[00:40:51] Angela: I'll talk to you later. I appreciate you coming on

[00:40:52] today.

[00:40:53] Wells : Thank you so much, Angela. Take care.

[00:40:55]